Christmas Jokes

One of the best and worst things about Christmas and Christmas crackers are the jokes that come with them. Today I thought I would share some of my favourite bad Christmas cracker jokes.

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia.

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had low "elf" esteem.

What do you call a cat in the desert?

Sandy Claws.

What do you call a dog who works for Santa?

Santa Paws.

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas quacker.

What says oh oh oh?

Santa walking backwards.

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?

Santa going through a revolving door!

Who is Santa's favourite singer?

Elf-is Presley!

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet.

Where does Santa go when he's sick?

To the elf center!

Where do elves go to dance?

Christmas Balls!

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?

Krisp Kringle!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?

Horn-aments.

What do you call Rudolph with lots of snow in his ears?

Anything you want, he can't hear you!

What happened to the turkey at Christmas?

It got gobbled!

How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinsilitis.

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?

Jingle smells.

Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said "I don't know about you but I smell carrots!"

I hope you all enjoyed these bad Christmas jokes as much as I did. You just can't have Christmas without them.

Only 12 days to go!